On The Transubstantiation of the Eggnog
Our embedded reporter at the annual Chemists’ Club Eggnog Dinner in New York tonight reports the following cabalistic incantation spoken over the eggnog bowl (verbatim)
We have hardened our hearts to the fraudulent Jesus
In search of the goop that Hobbes told us to find.
Soon nano-materials will no longer tease us
Like vaporous robots inhaled through the mind.
Chemo-octogenari, coalesce in Manhattan
At the midpoint twixt Broadway and Fifth Avenue,
To dwell on black practice and babble in Latin,
Disguising our Mass as a fete of the Yule!
O bring forth the cauldron, you fatmen among us !
We, decrepit in top hats, tuxedoed demise,
Bow to Lord Mammon, who’ll fondle and tongue us!
Bring the Buckminster Birdcage! The Newt with four eyes!
Pour buckets of eggnog, that sickening dairy,
Bring encrusted bottles and powder-filled horns!
From formulae whispered to Otto by Larry,
Form the glutinous spackle: petroleum-based corn!
Editor’s Note: At this point, several 40-year members caught a little air. The PR woman from Ogilvy was really freaked out.
December 15, 2005 at 10:39 pm
11-syllable verse with an ABAB rhyme scheme should be read aloud by a quartet of drunken sailors with eastern European accents and no more than five rotting teeth among the entire group.
December 16, 2005 at 12:13 am
Ah! Gussman! A connoisseur of the true forms of verse and
dentistry, not unfamiliar with the lore of the “40-year members.” Heritage!
Vanx